Assumptions
When you tell people that you're engaged, people assume a lot of things.
The first thing they assume is that you can't wait to have children. "Oh, you're engaged...when are you having kids?" Give me a minute people...first, I'd like to get married. Then...LATER....IF we decide to have kids (I know it's shocking, but everyone doesn't want them or want to have them right away), then that'll be that. If you want new babies in the world immediately, then you should have one.
The second thing you hear is, "Well, your money is all the same now anyway." This comes up when I tell someone that Katharine paid for dinner...or that she has her own money for shoes. My grandfather was flabergasted when Katharine pulled out her wallet to pay for dinner one night when we all went out. "She shouldn't be paying for dinner...when you go out to dinner with a woman, you should pay," he shouted across the table. No...I don't think so...you have to go a little bit back in time for that one. Don't get me wrong...I ENJOY taking her out to dinner (and I have to say that I think she enjoys taking me out just the same). So that goes back to "your money is all the same anyway". Sort of. There's 3 piles of money...OK, well, maybe it's not PILES of money...that may be overstating it a bit. Basically, I have my money, Katharine has her money, and then there's that whole shared money thing. See all those shoes in the post below? I can't afford all those shoes!!! I have DVDs to buy! If I had to pay for all those shoes...I couldn't get the Special Edition Directors Cut of Underworld Evolution or the second season of LOST on DVD. Stop that...I only chose Underworld Evolution because it's next in line on my Amazon Wish List...not because of THAT scene.
There are so many things that people assume when you're engaged, married, or in a relationship. Try to keep in mind that people do things differently, and if having a baby before you're married and completely sharing money works for you, then that's fantastic. Just don't think that everyone is going to do it your way.
This has been a public service announcement for anyone who has ever been bugged by others about babies and sharing money.
The first thing they assume is that you can't wait to have children. "Oh, you're engaged...when are you having kids?" Give me a minute people...first, I'd like to get married. Then...LATER....IF we decide to have kids (I know it's shocking, but everyone doesn't want them or want to have them right away), then that'll be that. If you want new babies in the world immediately, then you should have one.
The second thing you hear is, "Well, your money is all the same now anyway." This comes up when I tell someone that Katharine paid for dinner...or that she has her own money for shoes. My grandfather was flabergasted when Katharine pulled out her wallet to pay for dinner one night when we all went out. "She shouldn't be paying for dinner...when you go out to dinner with a woman, you should pay," he shouted across the table. No...I don't think so...you have to go a little bit back in time for that one. Don't get me wrong...I ENJOY taking her out to dinner (and I have to say that I think she enjoys taking me out just the same). So that goes back to "your money is all the same anyway". Sort of. There's 3 piles of money...OK, well, maybe it's not PILES of money...that may be overstating it a bit. Basically, I have my money, Katharine has her money, and then there's that whole shared money thing. See all those shoes in the post below? I can't afford all those shoes!!! I have DVDs to buy! If I had to pay for all those shoes...I couldn't get the Special Edition Directors Cut of Underworld Evolution or the second season of LOST on DVD. Stop that...I only chose Underworld Evolution because it's next in line on my Amazon Wish List...not because of THAT scene.
There are so many things that people assume when you're engaged, married, or in a relationship. Try to keep in mind that people do things differently, and if having a baby before you're married and completely sharing money works for you, then that's fantastic. Just don't think that everyone is going to do it your way.
This has been a public service announcement for anyone who has ever been bugged by others about babies and sharing money.
posted by Jeff - WeinerToons at 8:26 AM
3 Comments:
Another point to remember is that IF you ever decide to have children, neither of you will have money! No more,sob, expensive shoes and new movies will consist of the latest Disney releases. I sometimes look back at our before life with envy. We had to sell the convertable, no more dining out once a week, no more spontaneous road trips, etc., etc. Anybody who pushes children on another person needs to shut the @#$! up. Don't get me wrong, I love my children, but in the words of Ma Kettle, "I wouldn't take a million dollars for another one or give a nickle for another."
Right you are. Children sure put a crimp in my wild and fancy-free life style.
And then they have the nerve to tell me that I'm the one who isn't way cool.
And don't get me started on all the shoes I had to forego because of them. My closets would be full except for them. We're talking Imelda here.
I don't have children....but have 3 God-children if that counts! They’re a huge responsibility, expensive,etc. If I had the luxury to choose between “work” & kids, I would definitely have kids! If you guys ever decide to have them....you'll find out how awesome they can be :)
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