Absolutely no attention span

By Katharine

Since it's been a slow afternoon here, I was re-reading some of Jeff's previous blog entries and I'm struck by the number of times my attention span, or lack thereof, has come up. For example, my father mentions in a comment that I used to put together large, 3 ring binders filled with notes, pictures, stories, etc.. of metal bands I liked. All alphabetized for easy access. And he's right when he says that if I put a tenth of that effort into my school work, I would have graduated with some sort of cum laude... BUT, I had absolutely *no* interest in schoolwork and would spend my days in some sort of fog. Writing notes to friends, writing notes to my boyfriend/fiance/whatever he was at the time... I would also write long "romantic predictions" for my friends featuring whatever boy/actor/celebrity they had a crush on that week. Now THAT was interesting. So here's the question... since I wasn't exactly good in school... how the heck am I going to tell any potential/maybe someday/we're not really sure we want any children that THEY should pay attention in school???? I mean.. kind of hypocritical of me don't you think? Maybe that's the area where Jeff should step in and parent?? ;-)

Red or White?

This afternoon, we attended the 15th annual Boston Wine Expo at the Seaport World Trade Center. You might wonder why I would attend such an event if I don't drink...and I don't. Well...I drink, but it's things like water, soda, milk...more soda...you get the idea. I have never seen a larger group of drunk people...ever. I've gone to a lot of bars...I've drank a lot in my day...I would have to say that there were more drunk people at this wine tasting connoisseur event than I have ever had the pleasure of sharing space with. But the tickets didn't cost me anything...a friend provided them...why not go? I spent an hour there...many people spent the day. As we waited outside to get our tickets, many people stumbled by on their way out. One girl was under 21 (even thought the sign at the door clearly stated "No One Under 21 Admitted"...nobody checked my I.D.) ...the police were standing by. I should have stuck around to see the outcome.

There were two groups of people at the Wine Expo...people that really know and appreciate wine...and people that figured they could get a shitload to drink at low cost. Well...I guess I don't know what it cost since I didn't have to pay. And then there was the third group that I almost forgot about. That person that pretended to know about wine but was really only there to drink as much as they wanted. "It has a cedar undertone...I taste a hint of mango...and it has a thick texture." "That's mango dip sir...it's not wine." "I knew that...I was just testing you." Overall, I was amused watching the variety of people stumble around. And that's how I spent my Sunday afternoon.

E-Mail Posting

This is my first attempt at an e-mail post. Really…why would I want to post to my blog this way? I’m sitting in front of a computer with Internet access, which means that I can access the Blogger website, which means I can publish the same way I’ve been publishing since I switched to Blogger. What am I f*cking stupid? Don’t answer that…your comments will be deleted! I still have the power!

People Still Do This?

I was just watching CNN news and there was a story about a bank robbery. Remember when a bank robbery consisted of horses, a handkerchief around the face, a six shooter, and a bag of money with a giant dollar sign on it? It's so different now...first of all, there are cameras in the bank so everyone in the world can see the bank robber...and the criminals act like they don't know there are cameras. When there were NO cameras, people wore masks...now when there ARE cameras...they don't wear masks...seems backwards to me. And not only are there cameras...the whole damn scene is broadcast over the Internet.

Instead of horses, they have cars. But they can't jump off the roof into the front seat of a car like you can into the saddle of a horse. If hostages are taken, they're not tied up, thrown over the bad guy's shoulder and placed neatly onto the railroad tracks. And nobody uses dynamite anymore with the long string that attaches to the T-Bar device thingy. I don't know...maybe I've seen too many movies...maybe things never really happened this way. Maybe, as usual...I'm making shit up.

The Sweet Sweet Smell of Corkys

I just ordered off of QVC!! I blame Katharine! My mouth has been watering for Corky's BBQ Ribs since I first wrote about them on November 29, 2005. I have NEVER ordered from a home shopping program and I'm slightly ashamed to admit that I've been beaten. We're sitting here watching the QVC food program...I'm absolutely STARVING because it's dinner time...haven't eaten yet, but I ordered my Corkys and I can't wait until they arrive.

Come on...you take a peek at Corky's Riblets and tell me they don't look yummy! I surely hope they don't suck!

Meet the Gruesomes

Got some money that you just HAVE to get rid of? Feel free to pick up this print for me...it's only $525 unframed if you get it at: http://www.animationartgallery.com/WBLHB1026.html

Come on...I'm worth it!

There's No Cheese in Cheesecake

OK...maybe there is...the truth is, I don't really know how they make cheesecake and I don't care. Went to the Cheesecake factory for dinner Saturday night and it was quite an adventure. We called for an early dinner...3pm. I estimated that there wouldn't be a crowd at 3pm, and for once...ask Katharine because she was psyched...I was wrong. An 80 minute wait...that's an hour and twenty minutes in case you don't care to figure it out. Typically I won't wait that long to be seated in a restaurant, but we were there...I personally had checked the menu earlier in the day and I was looking forward to the meal I was about to order. So we were finally seated...our order was taken...and then...{BOOP}{BOOP}{BOOP}...all the lights came on...{BOOP}{BOOP}{BOOP} the alarm blared...the music stopped. The ambience was gone, the fire alarm blasted an unpleasant noise...nobody moved. Not a person got up to escape the blaze that none of us could see. Was anyone really going to escape the building when they waited 80 minutes to sit in the first place? I don't think so. The restaurant continued to seat people, people continued to eat, and we continued to wait for bread that never arrived. Maybe that's what burned.

Monty Stole My Sock

Quick story...I sat down to put on my shoes and socks this morning...Monty walked over, took one of my socks, brought it upstairs, and then came back and stared at me as if to say..."Let's see you put that shoe on now f*cker".

Update (as requested): A photo of Monty stealing socks.

Slip N' Slide

I don't usually write about my pets because a lot of people don't want to read, "my kids did this and it was so funny" stories...usually you have to be there to appreciate it...but I can't resist this one. I discovered this morning why Monty is a retired 3-year old racing dog...retired at the prime of his career. He decided this morning to use my backyard as his own private Slip N Slide. Remember that toy...long strip of plastic that you water down to slide across the yard...except in this case...it's mud...and slide across it he did. {slip}{squish}{sliiiiide}. Ever wipe mud off the side of a 75lb dog? Let's just say that it's a dirty job.

Captain Kirk Sent Me DVDs #1

So, I've gone and done it folks...in the spirit of fun and entertainment, as well as needing something new to discuss in this forum...I signed up for the William Shatner DVD Club. Remember that? I mentioned it a few weeks ago, right here in this very space and now I've received my first installment. I don't remember signing a non-disclosure agreement, so I'll tell you the first movie I received was "Gingersnaps", a horror movie about a teenage goth girl that gets bitten by a werewolf...and of course, as werewolf bites will do...transforms her into a werewolf. Good choice Bill...entertaining...not too gory, but gory enough to make you go "Ewwwww". You should have stopped there Bill, but you had to send a "bonus" disc with my first installment. In this case, "bonus" means, a disc that you could never sell because it's crap...and this movie was, "The Wolves of Wall Street". Crap...as if you couldn't tell by the title. It was slow starting...slow middle...never got to the end...we turned it off before it was over. So if anyone wants to buy "The Wolves of Wall Street", I have a half watched version of it that I'll sell it to you for $4. Otherwise, I'm going to keep it in my William Shatner DVD Club collection and anxiously await next month's DVD surprise in the mail.

Weight Watchers and New Year's Resolution

by Katharine

For your wedding it's almost mandatory that you go on a diet. As soon as that ring goes on your finger, visions of wedding dresses and what you'll look like walking up the aisle float through your head. Panic is usually the next thought. So of course for the new year I'm on a diet. Since meeting Jeff I've put on what I like to call my "happy weight". You know, the weight you gain when you're in a happy relationship and now feel comfortable to chow down like a big ol' HAWG in front of your mate. And apparently I was *really* comfortable! 15 pounds later and I need to lose some of that weight!! So off I went to join Weight Watchers and I'm down about 10. Woo hoo.. right? Yup.. I was pretty proud of myself until Jeff joined. I swear to you the man lost about 8 pounds in 8 days. Let's back track to my own loss.. that took place over the course of 2 months. And Jeff joins and apparently the fat is melting off of him. I call that unfair. It's just not right. The man cut out a can of coke a day and he freakin' lost all this weight. Meanwhile I'm damn hungry and ready to chew my own arm off like a deranged coyote and I'm still losing at a snail's pace. Bah. That f*ckin' sucks. A lot. If I don't see some weight loss tomorrow when I weigh in it's going to be a bad day. A very, very bad day. I may just snap and mug a girl scout.

Followed with Comments by Jeff

OK...I couldn't let this go without a rebuttal. 8 pounds in 8 days is a slight exaggeration. More like 8 pounds in 14 days. And I had to cut more than a can of Coke a day. Come on now...it's all about HOW MUCH you eat...now WHAT you eat. It's true...I put on some of that comfort weight...too much eating out I think. Who doesn't like all that "eating out" food? Chinese, Italian, BBQ Ribs...great stuff. It's just that restaurants give you 400% of what you actually need to satisfy you. You NEED to eat everything on your plate...isn't that what they tell you when you're a kid? Clean your plate or you won't get dessert. And at a restaurant...who doesn't want dessert? SO...you MUST clean your plate. And then order dessert. Anyway...whatever...an extra pound here or there...maybe two...or four...heh...you know. We've all been there at one time or another and this time...it's my turn. Where are those damn jellybeans?! See you when we're a few pounds lighter!

Rockin' New Years Eve

How did you spend New Years Eve? Katharine and I stayed in, had some really good seafood takeout, and watched a bit of New Years Rockin' Eve. Dick Clark's New Years Rockin' Eve...but where was Dick Clark? Apparently, last year...Dick Clark had a pretty bad stroke and was absent from Rockin' Eve for the first time in 34 years...replaced by Ryan Seacrest. I don't know who made that piss poor programming choice...but Ryan Seacreast? Ryan spent the night looking for dick...oh...I should capitalize that...Dick. Around 1130pm, Mr. Clark came on screen and was a bit painful to watch...it sucks for him and I applaud him for coming back to the show this year...but you all know it was uncomfortable watching him. You had to feel bad. Anyway...it was a good night for...Dick. While he was making out with some unknown woman at the stroke of midnight...Ryan Seacrest was TALKING about making out with Mariah Carey. He mentioned it once or twice...the camera switched to Dick and his woman...and then back to Ryan who claimed to have locked lips with Mariah. Yeah, right...or maybe it's true...Mariah isn't looking so good, but who's going to tell her. Nobody in Mariah's camp is going to say..."yo, Mariah...that dress is a little small for you...I know it fit last year, but not so much anymore". Nobody is telling Mariah the truth...except me I guess...oh, and Katharine...but Mariah doesn't give a shit what we think...she's rich. So, it's Happy New Year time...it's 2006, and I hope you all have a great one!