A License for Everything

With our wedding date approaching fast...Katharine and I went to go apply for our marriage license this afternoon. We were surprised by the "oath" we had to swear prior to submitting the application. I've included sections of that oath here:

Section 1. No man shall marry his mother, grandmother, daughter, granddaughter, sister, stepmother, grandfather’s wife, grandson’s wife, wife’s mother, wife’s grandmother, wife’s daughter, wife’s granddaughter, brother’s daughter, sister’s daughter, father’s sister or mother’s sister.

and the equally important Section 2 because equality is important

Section 2. No woman shall marry her father, grandfather, son, grandson, brother, stepfather, grandmother’s husband, daughter’s husband, granddaughter’s husband, husband’s grandfather, husband’s son, husband’s grandson, brother’s son, sister’s son, father’s brother or mother’s brother.

WHAT? Are we serious? Most of this is common sense...in most states. Some of this is open to interpretation...well, not by ME. SOME PEOPLE might wonder why you can't marry your wife's daughter as long as she's NOT YOUR daughter and she's over 18.

I'm sorry if you're not amused by the necessity of the state of Massachusetts to make you swear to something like this under oath...I think it's funny.

Monty's First Night at a Kennel

Animals and how they rule our lives. So, Katharine and I went away overnight last night and Monty spent his first night away from home since we adopted him. He stayed at a kennel like most dogs and sometimes cats do when their people go away.

I don't know if you've ever boarded an animal, but it's a complicated process. You don't just drop them off and pick them up. You have to consider THE EXTRAS. What exactly are THE EXTRAS and why did I capitalize it? THE EXTRAS are what make you a good or a bad pet owner and each EXTRA costs...well...extra. For example, you can choose to provide your beloved pet with "premium bedding". As opposed to what...a hard cement floor? Premium bedding is defined as an orthopedic mattress. It's true...I'm not kidding. Monty didn't get this, but he did get extra (there's that word again) playtime, he got a sweet treat, and an extra walk. He got all of this because we felt guilty adding stress to his otherwise stress free, non racing greyhound life. I mean...look at this face...how could you not get him EXTRA playtime?



The big question on my mind is...how do you know that he really gets all those extras? His sweet treat was a frozen peanut butter filled KONG. I didn't smell his breath to make sure it was all peanut buttery. How do I know they gave him this for $5...or the extra playtime for $5...or the extra walk for...I think you get it. Are we suckers or are our pets getting what we pay for? I like to think they're taken care of and that we're good people for providing THE EXTRAS. The woman in front of us was leaving her dog for two weeks with no extras...nada...not one sweet treat. Maybe she knows something that we don't.

The Great Gazoo

Why are all the smartest, wisest creatures in TV and movies always green? Yoda, Kermit...and then there's another. I have got to get myself a copy of The Flintstones, Season 6 on DVD. Season 6 is the last season of the show, but it's the FIRST season to feature Gazoo. Not just ANY Gazoo, but The GREAT Gazoo.

What would you do if you had your own green space alien? If I had my own magic friend...I'd have him blink me to all kinds of vacation spots. Consider how easy it would be to get into DisneyWorld if you were friends with Gazoo. And you would never have to wait in line! You could go over Niagara Falls in a barrel and survive. Sure you'd have to accept being berated by a sarcastic 2 foot tall man calling you "Dum Dum" all the time, but I've been called worse.

What would YOU do if Gazoo was your friend?

Now I Remember Why I Hate Yardwork

It's been about 6 years since I've had a case of poison ivy and I had forgotten how not pleasant it is. Last week, after an hour or so out in the yard...weed whacking in shorts and a t-shirt...I discovered that Mother Nature decided to get even for me chopping up her precious vegetation. Little dots of plant poison started creeping up on my arms and legs and crept...and crept some more. THANKFULLY, only on areas that were not covered. It could be worse...the last time I had it...I was outside without a shirt too and I had poison coverage everywhere that wasn't covered by shorts (which still could have been one step worse when you consider it).

I just want to scratch and scratch and scratch like a dog infested with fleas...but I can't. I'll just sit here and suffer in silence.

Last Comic Standing Hecklers Edition Part One

If you're not watching Last Comic Standing...you should be and here's why:

Men and Women in Commercials

Why is it that women in TV commercials are always bossy super-bitches and the men are always whimpy idiots? What does this say about how our society looks at couples? Am I the only one who has noticed this? I give you for example the rug cleaner commercial where the husband is home watching his son and his wife says, "Make sure you don't make a mess on the white rug"...and while the husband is sleeping (while he's supposed to be watching the toddler)...the toddler dumps something red and sticky on the carpet. The man wakes up (good thing his kid didn't drink bleach) and rushes around to clean up the mess before his wife gets home and cuts his...uhm...yells at him like he's the child. He makes it just in time...once more he's put one over on the bitch he's married to who doesn't understand that accidents happen. Geez.

My Favorite 80's Movie Ever

by Katharine

Just this past weekend I tortured Jeff by watching one of my favorite movies ever... "The Lost Boys". Now I know Jeff is some sort of movie fanatic and owns a ridiculous 200+ DVD's, but my collection is much smaller. About 10 DVD's.... which I occasionally get bored with and rotate by selling them on Amazon Marketplace. Anyway, one of my all time favorite movies is the classic, "The Lost Boys". It's got Corey Haim (who I LOVED when I was like 14), Corey Feldman, Keifer Sutherland, that guy from Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, Jason Patric, and a TON of other eye candy bad boy vampires. I love this movie with every fiber of my being. But as I was watching it this past weekend, I noticed that there was a NEW piece of eye candy that I had previously skipped over. The amazing, hot, incredibly cheesy saxophone player/singer from the big concert scene at the beginning. You know, where Jason Patric meets the half-vampire named "Star"?? Anyway... that sax player is HOT. I must have watched that scene 4 times (until Jeff got back from walking Monty and I thought I shouldn't push my luck by making him sit through it again and again). I immediately got his picture off of Google (the man actually has a fan site, who knew??), and wanted to share my find with everyone. Enjoy!

Oh, and does anyone else have a guilty pleasure 80's movie they'd care to share with the world??

For The Price of a Cup a Coffee a Day

I don't go out a lot, but I make up for it in monthly fees. A couple of years ago, when I was going out on Friday, Saturday, Sunday...Wednesday and Thursday nights...I would probably spend $30 - $50 a night. So when I come across something fun that has a nominal monthly fee, I usually try it out. So when is that nominal monthly fee NOT SO NOMINAL?

Netflix - $17.99 a month
TiVO - $12.95 a month
Siruis Radio - $12.95 a month
World of Warcraft - $14.99 a month
Star Wars Galaxies - $14.99 a month
City of Heroes - $14.99 a month

Do you see a pattern here? And this doesn't even cover cable TV, magazine subscriptions, cell phones, and the redundant HOME telephone. Everything has a monthly fee now, doesn't it? BUT consider that all of those monthly fees incurred in the name of entertainment are still CHEAPER at $88 a month than going out 5 nights a week. How about that? Makes me feel better...how about you? Go ahead...sign up for something new today!

:-)