We Spent Our Honeymoon In Line at L.L. Bean

OK, so this comes a couple of weeks late, but it'll be good.

Some of you know that L.L. Bean recently opened a store near us in Burlington, MA. We happened to be on vacation...on our honeymoon...so we decided to check it out. Normally, I would stay as far away from a store opening as possible...hate crowds...don't like lines...but THIS TIME was different. They were offering a gift certificate to the first 200 people in the door. Oh yeah. FREE L.L. Bean merchandise. The certificates ranged from $25 - $500 and it was a random draw. So we went and ran into THIS:



Being the greedy bitch that I am...we waited. And Waited. Now I don't know how well you can see it here...but there were a lot of friggin people. To be exact, there were 194 people in front of us. It's true. You know how I know? Because Katharine counted them all twice to make sure we weren't 200 and 201 in line. Instead, we were 195 and 196. Phew. We had to police the line to make sure nobody cut or was holding a space. Did I mention that this was our honeymoon?

So we got our certificates...2 hrs earlier than they were supposed to open...good thing we got there early. And when we returned to the store at 9AM, we had to get in line AGAIN!! Fuck...nobody told us that. So there we stood...we were about 500 in line this time, but we already had our free certificate. SO...we finally reached the front and looking back (the red dot shows where we started in line):



There are a crapload of people that like L.L. Bean.

New TV Season Proves Current TiVO is not Sufficient

It's September again and the new TV season is here...pretty much anyway. The new shows are on and the returning shows are waiting until October when the new shows are old. Half of you think that TV is a waste of time...a mindless activity, but not really. It's a brain exercise trying to remember when everything good is on and what shows conflict with what other shows. TiVO was supposed to free my brain from such activities so I could do other things, but unfortunately, my single tuner TiVO unit cannot keep up with the demand. Since it can only record one thing at a time because it's lazy, I have to remember when OTHER shows are on at the same time...maybe something Katharine likes when I'm recording LOST or something I like when she's recording Bones and CSI. I could get the dual tuner TiVO but that doesn't come with a DVD recorder so I can save all the shows until they come out on DVD. Holy shit...now I sound like an addict. Ah well...it could be worse. I could like sports...ask Katharine which she prefers.

God Has a Plan for Me and My Child

Thank God someone has a plan for me...I don't have a child so I guess that part doesn't apply to me. I'm going to tiptoe a little herebecause I'm not out to offend anyone...for once, but I was driving to work this morning at 6AM (which is the first problem really), and I saw this guy standing alone in the dark holding a sign and it read, "God has a plan for
you and your child". I was annoyed as I usually am when I read such dribble on a sign held by some schmuck who is obviously judging EVERYONE. Katharine was annoyed, but felt bad for him because he was standing outside alone with
a sign at 6AM.

Who exactly is the target audience for a 6AM sign holding? Oh...did I forget to mention he's near the elementary school? That goes one step beyond judgmental...how do you say...CREEPY!

Who is this guy to assume anything about what God's plan is for anyone? Who is this guy to assume that your god is the same as his god. We don't need to talk about my beliefs here...that's just not appropriate.

Now That This Whole Wedding Thing is Over...Let the Marriage Begin

Well, we've done it...last weekend Katharine and I took the big walk down the isle (or I guess it was across the park and into the gazebo), delivered our vows perfectly (of course), and had a small party to follow it all up where we got incredibly drunk and...no wait...that last part is a lie. I've provided a short album for those that can't wait for the pictures.

Here I am getting ready...or as Katharine calls it, watching "WWE Raw" while she rushes around the house getting dressed as my family showed up EARLY EARLY EARLY. Come on...there was a 3-way tag team match running, I couldn't just leave it:



And here's the only picture I won't make a joke about. All together now...awwwww:



I know...I know. Touching, isn't it? And finally (I know...I'm not showing you much)...a shot from our dinner the following night. This is me doing a new dance called the "Grabbing My Own Ass" dance. It's true and David is doing that dance as well. Thanks to my nephew for teaching us this dance and to Janice for taking a picture of it:



Anyway, we had a lot of fun and now Katharine is officially a whiner...uhm...I mean...a Weiner.

Mr. Shatner's Club Paid Me Off

If you're a regular reader here, you might remember when I signed up for the William Shatner DVD Club back in December looking forward to the fun of receiving a new random movie every month. Well ladies and gentlemen...the fun is over. Two days ago, I received a check from the William Shatner DVD Club...a full refund since they couldn't live up to the contract I signed up for. I never received a disc for July, August, or September so I sent them a friendly note:

"At this point, I should be asking for a refund since the club did not abide by it's original agreement. This is my official notification that I will not be renewing my enrollment so my credit card should not be billed for an additional billing cycle. Please either provide me a full refund for my current subscription or send me the discs I am owed through this current enrollment.."

and I received a thoughtful response from the president of the company:

We have been trying to determine the cause of all the delays in shipping your monthly DVD selections to your home address. Although we have been successfully mailing several thousand monthly DVDs to Shatner Club members in your area, we cannot determine why shipments to you have not been successful. We have therefore decided to cancel your membership and provide you with a full refund of the subscription fee you paid by credit card earlier this year. I will send you a check for the full amount ($50.39) via postal Mail.Customer Service is a high priority for the Shatner DVD Club. We regret the inconvenience that these various shipping problems have caused you, and we would like to thank you for trying out a membership in the Shatner Club. There is of course, no need for you to return any of the movies you may have received from us. They are yours to keep and enjoy.

Ah well...I'll have to find something else to sign up for since I've got $50 allocated to entertainment.

Too Far From the Nearest Hospital

There are so many jokes that could be told, but that just wouldn't be right. I'm sure that someone will come up with one in a day or so, but CRIKEY...Steve Irwin was killed by a Stingray off the coast of Australia's north coast when the stingray barb went through his chest and into his heart. WHAT?! The man has wrestled crocodiles, wild boar, king cobra snakes and he was killed by a fish??! I suppose if you taunt enough wildlife it's bound to happen but that's just fucked up. It's a sad day.

Link to Story at CNN.COM