I Used to Give Blood All the Time

You can donate blood every 56 days if you want...every 3 days if you only want to donate platelets. Who says you don't learn anything here. I used to donate every 56 days back when I was in the military...it was the thing to do and it got you free hot dogs, punch, and cookies. It also got you the rest of the day off, but it doesn't matter WHY you did it...just that you did. It was on my calendar as a regular thing until that fateful day.

I don't tell this story to discourage you from donating...just to tell you why I don't anymore. So, the technician grabs my arm and presses the needle to my skin...little pinch. I'm not a junkie so I'm not used to such things. Hmmm...no blood flow. He suggests that we try the other arm. Sure...I have two. Needle goes to the other arm. No blood flow. Said technician wiggles the needle around. Pain and immediate bruising occurs...technician says...OH, I think I may have hit a tendon. I agreed with him because it hurt like hell. "Let me try this vein in your hand," he suggests. Me being a human pin cushion...let him do it. What choice did I have...no arms left and I was already strapped to the chair. Blood flow happened...I got my cookies and punch...I walked out bruised and slightly bloodied.

Katharine has a story too...much more recent than mine, but I'll let her tell you someday. Until then...GIVE BLOOD because 9% of the blood distributed in the US is my blood type (more useful facts sponsored by the American Red Cross)! I promise that someday, I won't be afraid to give again!

If I Was a Car Stealer...

I could have had 3 new cars with my morning coffee this morning. You know how it is...stop at Dunkin Donuts for my morning pick-me-up, and there they are, tempting me...polluting the air...just asking to be taken. A Ford Taurus, a Scion tC, and a Mercury Capri...all with the keys in them and the engines running. Oh...and all the doors were open...not unlocked, but cracked open. Obviously, I didn't taken them, but I COULD have. In some neighborhoods, those cars would have been gone, chopped up, and sold for scraps. How about that?

I'll Bet Those Damn Tickets Were Never Available to Begin With

This is such bullshit...it's crap...I didn't even know if I really wanted to see this show until I couldn't get tickets and now I'm annoyed. Robin Williams is coming to do a show at a really small venue in Boston over the next two days...tickets went on sale, 10am this morning...I got to the CHECKOUT screen and the Comedy Connection website crashed with a Server/Application ERROR. It's the only place you could get tickets...I refreshed the page...tried again...and this is what I got:

In case you can't read it...it says: "The number of seats you have requested is not available for this show. Try another show or call the Box Office at +1 (617) 248-9700"

Lies! You can't call the box office because it's busy, busy, busy. If I had to guess...I'd say the tickets were never available...they most likely went to employees and VIPs. That's just my opinion of course.

Tastes Just Like a Chocolate Glazed Donut...But You Can Eat It Every Day

Snap, Crackle, and Holy Crap!

Have you ever wished that your breakfast cereal tasted like a chocolate glazed donut? Well, who the hell hasn't wished that unless you hate chocolate and hate donuts. And if that's the case...that's YOUR problem because chocolate glazed donuts ROCK...and so do Cocoa-Vanilla Krispies! I had chocolate glazed donuts for dinner...thanks Kelloggs!

I Was Such a Badass When I Was 4

Due to the lack of anything interesting to write about, i decided to post this picture of me looking like a badass on my BigWheel at 4 years old. I particularly like the little frillies on my handlebars!

Remember Big Wheels? Do they still make them? I think they're all motorized now and you have to wear a helmet to ride one. Apparently kids heads are squishier now then they used to be.

We Can Seat You in 20-30 Minutes

Katharine and I went to a restaurant the other night...a place we've been a dozen times...it was a weeknight and we figured we'd get in quick. We drove into the parking lot and noticed people sitting outside...it was a bit cold. Upon entering the restaurant we noticed that people were waiting...a sign on the counter informed us of a 20 - 30 minute wait. We're patient people...at least one of us is...so we waited. Our time was up, we were still not seated. New people arrived...others left with bags of peanuts in hand...peanuts perfect for throwing at your friends in traffic (that's another story from another day - pictured below). When it was finally time to seat us, we realized that 4 tables in the restaurant were empty. That's when it occurred to me that they wanted there to be a line so people would know how popular the restaurant is. It's a marketing ploy. And if that wasn't enough...I just found this in the text message section of my cell phone. Who could have sent this to me?

You know who you are and so do I, thanks to a little thing called Caller ID! And here's the one I referenced earlier:

Now All The Calendars Need to be Reprinted

This year on the first Sunday in April, you will not be turning your clocks ahead. I know...I know...you've been doing this since 1966 (unless, like me, you weren't born yet), but this year is different. President Bush, along with the Secretary of Energy have determined that this year, Daylight Saving Time will begin on March 11th. A whole month earlier. How will that impact you? If you have one of those clocks, watches, DVD players, computers, and microwave ovens that update automatically for Daylight Saving Time...you might be early for everything for about a month.

New Years Resolutions (2007 Edition)

Years ago, I said here in this very space (which I'll call MYSpace, even though it's not MySpace) that I don't make New Year's Resolutions. What's the point? Most people disappoint themselves on day 1 of the New Year. The most common resolutions...lose weight, exercise, quit smoking...blah blah blah.

I'll admit it publicly today...I hate exercise. I've started my own exercise regiment called XBOXercise. It's going to be all the rage...everyone will be doing it. I've been doing this for a couple of months now and my thumbs feel GREAT! How can I feel good about this, you ask? When I play certain games...it's actually me...or it looks like me which fools me into thinking that it is actually helpful! Hell, last night I won the World Wrestling Championship Belt and made the rank of Specialist on the same night!

If I WAS going to make resolutions...here's what they would be:

Resolution #1 - More XBOXercise.

Resolution #2 - Convince Katharine that my TV shows are the best and that she should be watching them all. She used to watch Lost...what happened to that?

Resolution #3 - More pizza. Less of other crappy foods, but more pizza.

Resolution #4 - Sell my cartoons...make a crapload of money and use it to draw more cartoons.

Resolution #5 - No more shitty movies...like The Descent...crazy albino bat people. Not that there's anything wrong with albino bat people...it's all in the way they're portrayed.

Resolution #6 - Finish some of the twenty friggin projects I started in 2006...2005...and 2004. PLUS, I got new projects for Christmas so I need to work on those too.

and finally Resolution #7 - Did I already say "Buy more DVDs"? Probably not, but it's not necessary to say that. That's right next to Katharine's #7 resoltution of 2007..."Buy More Shoes". Same addiction and that's going to make 2007 a Happy New Year.

Did you make any resolutions?