Some Drunken Idiot Hit My Mailbox

It anything but a typical Sunday morning. It was the first time in weeks that it wasn't snowing and I was planning to go on my weekly shopping excursion. It was cold...I think it was 8 degrees when I woke up to the sound of a tire spinning out of control. WHIR. WHIZ. ZREEEP. That was not the sound my alarm clock.

I jumped out of bed and looked out the window to see a large pickup truck spinning it tires, stretched across my driveway...inches from my car and next to my obliterated mailbox. Don't believe me? Check this out.

I ran out to find out what had happened and there's this young guy who explains that his brother was at my neighbor's house for a party the previous evening and he apparently was too drunk to drive, so he asked his brother to get his truck. Apparently, the brother realized he was too drunk to drive AFTER he jumped a giant snowbank and ran down my mailbox. Poor judgment on his part I think.

So here I am, trying to help this guy remove his brother's truck from my property. We're shoveling, sanding, and salting. And then I learn that the truck is out of gas. OK, it was bad enough that he crashed my property to pieces, but we couldn't remove his vehicle because it was OUT OF GAS. I don't know about you, but this makes me think that the guy is just an idiot and I'm ashamed of my neighbor (who is a nice guy) for being friends with such a loser.

After an hour of trying to dig out this car, I demanded that we waked up my neighbor...the one who had the party...and see if he can tow the truck out of my yard. Both of my cars were trapped. So that's what we did...and he did...and then my neighbor promised to take care of the mailbox. I wonder what that means? And how am I supposed to get my mail in the meantime? I don't think they'll deliver to THIS.

Thanks to Ethan for the photographic evidence.

The Oldest People in the Theater

Last night, we went with friends to see My Bloody Valentine in 3D...it was the good 3D and not that crappy blue and red glasses 3D. So we sat down in our seats, and I looked around the room to realize that we were likely the oldest people in the theater. Seriously, this was a rated R movie...nobody under 17 admitted without a parent or guardian. I didn't see a hell of a lot of parents or guardians, but there were a plethora of children under 17.

Anyway...we enjoyed the movie, and the 3D was fantastic. The story is actually a good slasher story with a suspenseful ending...and there was full frontal 3D gratuitous nudity and gore, so if you're squemish about that sort of thing, so be warned. Have you seen any good horror movies lately? Or maybe you have thoughts about this particular horror story. Do comment.

I {HEART} Peanut Butter

If you're like me, you love peanut butter. And now our government is telling us that the Peanut Corp. of America plant in Blakely, Ga has been responsible for producing peanut butter products loaded with salmonela. To be fair...I don't know if something can actually be "loaded" with salmonela, but apparently just having it is enough. This is hitting me hard.

My favorite candy is Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, my favorite sandwich is Peanut Butter and Jelly, My cereal of choice is Peanut Butter Crunch, and my dog loves peanut butter buscuits. I know that some of this has not been recalled...yet...but I don't want to find out the hard way that one of my products has been recalled later. Does that mean I can't eat peanut butter this year at all? There are peanut butter products on the shelf that will last months. What about thai peanut sauce? Crap, I had that for lunch today without even thinking about it. Is there a way to tell if your peanut butter product was born at the Peanut Corp. of America plant in Blakely, Ga? As it is...I lived in Georgia for a few years and hated it...now I have a new reason to hate it.

Thankfully, the FDA has now published a searchable list of recalled products for those that are still willing to eat peanut butter products...and here it is:

http://www.accessdata.fda.gov/scripts/peanutbutterrecall/index.cfm

Good luck to all of my fellow peanut butter eaters! Let's hope this gets resolved at some point soon. At least I can still eat Planters Mixed Nuts...or can I? How is this peanut butter recall affecting you?

Hong Kong Boston, The Best Karaoke Crowd in Town

If you haven't already figured out by the article I just posted 3 days ago, "Jeff with a Microphone", I like to sing. I like to sing even more in front of a crowd. Because I have no original music talent and can't perform songs that I might write myself, I turn to karaoke to get my fix. My venue of choice...at least once a month since last October (and sometimes twice) I spend about 5 hours at the Hong Kong in Boston's Fanueil Hall.

What's nice about going there, is that now I'm a regular. I know the DJ, the waitresses, one of the bartenders, a couple of the bouncers, and the manager. If I'm lucky, I get to sing 5 or 6 songs per night, but it's usually more like 7 or 8 since I now know other regulars and they'll invite me to sing with them. The waitress knows to start bringing water at the end of the night (which wasn't the case last week when there was a different waitress which is likely why I had a headache the next morning). Typically when I go, I usually go with my cousin...sometimes with another friend of mine...and we always make friends with strangers. There hasn't been a night yet, where that didn't happen. Everyone cheers on everyone, which makes it more fun. Nobody is really annoyed when someone sings something horrible, which means you can experiment a bit and still get support.

My songs of choice, lately have been mostly 80s songs...some 90s...nothing recent. A typical playlist for me includes: Mr Jones by Counting Crows, Nothin But a Good Time by Poison, Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leppard, We're Not Gonna Take It by Twisted Sister, and a variety of others. Last week, I was invited up to sing Mr Robto by Styx, oh...and we will never sing Guns N Roses again...right David?

Jeff with a Microphone

It has been brought to my attention that half of the pictures I take are pictures of me in some way, shape, or form, holding a microphone. I am not a professional singer, but apparently I play one in bars, clubs, and at parties (oh, and in my living room now, thanks to Rock Band)....even more apparent is the fact that I've been doing this for years.

So I have decided to browse through my history in photos and find every instace in which I'm holding a microphone. I thought it would be fun to present some of them here (if I posted all of them, we'd be here all day). Don't worry...there won't be any audio included in this feature.

In 1992 at Keesler AFB, Biloxi MS, with Bob.


With the band at a squadron party, also at Keesler AFB later in 1992


A cruise ship on the North Sea in 1993 on my way to England from Holland. I think I may have presented a challenge to the person that was singing before me here.


Why do I always have to be singing to have a microphone. Here, I'm giving the toast at my brother's wedding in 1994.


Wait...this is Jeff with a Hulahoop. Skip this one.


Yup...karaoke again in 2007 in Boston.


And 2008 at the Hong Kong with a crowd looking on.


And it didn't take me long to jump right into to 2009 following a pattern.


SO yeah, I guess you could say that I've always got a mic in my hand...how could I argue with all of this evidence.

Commentary on the Bathroom Vending Machine at the Purple Shamrock

Going where no other news correspondent dares to go...I must discuss with you the vending machine I discovered in the Men's bathroom at the Purple Shamrock in Boston. Now it's not the first time I've seen such a vending machine, but I don't typically have a camera with me and this time I did. This is the ONLY picture I took in said restroom.

So here it is. Let's discuss the variety of items here and how I imagine that the bar hopes they all go together.

Tic Tacs. Obviously...nobody wants to have bad breath when you're chatting someone up in a bar. That makes sense, right? I don't get the need for two different selections of the same flavor, but perhaps they couldn't think of a fourth item that went with the other three.

Condoms. Another obvious one...after you've chatted up that newfound focus of your attention and you're all drunk enough, you'll want to take them home. Sometimes you'll be sober and want to take them home too, but whatever...the story isn't fun that way.

Tylenol. And not just ANY Tylenol, but EXTRA STRENGTH. This one is strategic. You've taken your Tic Tacs, convinced someone somehow that the condom you've pulled from a vending machine for a dollar is safe to use, and at that last minute...they have a headache. {POP}...there's no need to fear TYLENOL is here! And not just ANY Tylenol, but EXTRA STRENGTH Tylenol.

And there you have it. I wonder if they have similar vending machines in the Women's room. Maybe someone that has been in there will write a commentary on that.

He's Having a Baby

It's a new year and I'll start right off by talking about something that's happening that's going to make this year unlike any year I've ever lived. I'm having a baby for those that didn't already know. Well, technically I'm not having the baby, but it I am indeed expecting a baby. This will be my first baby ever, so it's all pretty exciting and interesting and I'm sure that I will document a lot of this. I'll try not to make it the ONLY thing I talk about here so as to not bore those that don't care. I understand that some people don't care, and that's OK...I'm not offended. It's possible that one day, the baby will go back and read all this content that I've posted over the years...I would if my parents had done it. I won't count on it.

So here are things I've learned so far about having a baby:

Everyone wants to tell my wife horrible stories about their pregnancy. Please don't. It doesn't help, it's not cute or funny to tell horror stories...it only causes worry. Everyone likes to tell you all the horrible things about having a baby and nothing about the wonderful parts. I'm sure there are good things, right people with kids? If it was all horrible, there wouldn't be a point other than to keep our wondrous planet populated and that's not a good enough reason.

Most other women treat the husband/father like he's not part of the process. This isn't particulary true with my immediate circle of friends (thank you), but generally it's true. I have been treated in some cases like Katharine is having a baby without me and I'm supposed to totally focus on her. Now, it's true that she needs extra support and attention because she has to grow a human being, which is a pretty big and important job, but seriously people...she still has to go on with daily life as well. She can do (and does) a lot for herself, although she attempts the, "can you do this because I'm pregnant" when she doesn't feel like doing something, she knows and accepts that she's not going to get away with it. I clean the litter like I'm supposed to...I've been shoveling the snow mostly on my own...but Katharine can still do things like take the dog out in the yard and carry all of my heavy stuff (haha). She knows what I'm talking about and thankfully she's reasonable.

Daycare is expensive. Yeah, we've already started looking at daycare 5 months ahead of time because we were told to. Holy crap...it's $275 a week for a few days a week! So here's something you really don't want to skimp on, right? Nobody is looking for bargains when it comes to who is going to raise your kids while you're away. The jury is still out on this one.

3D ultrasound is pretty awesome. I wasn't supposed to see the 3D ultrasound...it was way too early and frankly, the baby looked like a cross between an alien and Skeletor, but the ultrasound tech was nice to me and showed me anyway. And gave me a picture...although the baby was covering his/her face with his/her arm.

A lot of people want to name your baby. I will happily listen to your suggestions, but when it comes to the actual naming, we're going to own that responsibility. If I can name a Warcraft character, I can name a human being. Here are my rules for names so far. Make sure I know what the initials spell and what nicknames that other kids will come up with because kids can be cruel. This coming with experience from the guy whose middle name is Howard...which was always linked with "the Duck" as soon as anyone heard what my middle name was. There...now you all know.

Everyone wants to touch Katharine immediately when they see her. Yeah...not OK, and you all know it, so stop doing it unless you ask first.

Everyone wants to feed the baby...he/she is not born yet...Katharine's got that job under control

Last thought for now...I want to know what it is so I can stop calling my child "it"...and so I can start buying him/her toys. Everyone has an opinion on what it will be too. I'll know soon because I'm impatient. Some have asked, "Don't you want it to be a surprise"? Sure I do...the day that I find out, it's still the same surprise only 4 months earlier. Anyway...isn't it a boy or a girl? No suprise there. The pictures here are from a month ago already...we'll get more in the middle of February when we find out the answer to the big question.

Do you have anything going on in your life that will make this year different than any other? New baby? New relationships? New house? New job? Whatever. Let's hear it!

Happy New Year 2009

A major event is a blogger's best friend. Yeah, I can't believe I just said that either, but it's true. So it's a new year, and that's a major event I guess. It happens every year and we celebrate like it's something special with parties and fireworks and food. OK, well maybe this year, I dozed off and on until the midnight hour, when I watched uncomfortably as Dick Clark made out with his wife as the ball dropped in Times Square. Leave that one alone...I can't handle dirty Dick Clark jokes.

Anyway, it's 2009 today and I have some ideas about the new year. I'll post them here and check back next year to see how it all goes. I didn't make any resolutions last year because I typically don't like resolutions. It's just something to be disappointed about should you not keep them. Well, I'll make them this year, but if I don't keep them, I'll try again...I won't beat myself up about it. That, my friends, is my first resolution.

Cook More at Home - People eat out a lot. In the month of December, I decided to find out just how much I spend on food and it was quite a bit...not all from eating out, but a good chunk of it was. Oh...and I was purposely trying to NOT eat out. So my first resolution is to cook more and a variety of meals. And I need to buy a fridge for my office...that'll help too on the lunch front.

Weekly Cartoons - This is not going to start until the middle of January, but I have ideas and I enjoy writing stories. For 6 years, I was able to maintain a schedule of weekly comic updates, which is the only way to keep readership. I slacked off a bit last year and lost a bunch of readers...I need to return to the weekly update schedule to get them all back.

Save Money - I'll figure it out.

Continue the Monthly Night Out - This is a break from day to day stress...a night to relax. It's a night to have a few drinks, sing some songs, and just have fun. My current place of choice is the Hong Kong in Boston's Fanueil Hall...I know the owner, the DJ, and the waitresses now, which makes it even more enjoyable.

Read More Books - And I don't mean the graphic or the comic type. I don't recall reading a single book in 2008...not completely anyway.

Maintain Friendships - This is difficult when everyone starts to move away and have families. People are so busy...I think Facebook makes it easy to stay in touch, but it doesn't replace getting together over drinks or spending hours catching up. They say reunions are less important now because of the Internet, but I say a few reunions could be fun. I'll start planning now. It's been great getting back in touch with all the people I've reconnected with on Facebook and beyond thanks to the power of the Internet, and I look forward to maintaining this in 2009. There are still plenty of people left that I'd like to find.

Having a Baby/Being a Responsible Parent - I certainly didn't save this for last because I don't think it's one of the most important things that will ever happen in my life; I saved it for last because it's not really a resolution. I felt the need to bring it up on this list at all since it's happening this year and I haven't written anything about it. I'm guessing there are at least a hundred baby posts yet to come in the next six months and beyond, including one specifically about "having a baby" coming in the next few days. It'll be my first posts of many this year on that and many other subjects.

I've cut back to a single blog permanently as I've decided it's too much pressure to update two...nor is it necessary to update two. Everything I have to say, I can put right here for you to read. And I want you to read and comment throughout the year...it's what makes it all fun and worthwhile. Happy New Year! Here's hoping it's a great one for all of us!