The Simpsons..........Movie (2007) - Why the Long Pause? That's How Long it Took Them to Make a Movie

I have to admit...I haven't watched the Simpsons on TV for several years. Probably not since the 6th or 7th season, but I'm a huge fan of animation. I haven't watched the Family Guy or Futurama either...I tend to stick with the animation of old, like Looney Tunes and the Hanna Barbera classics, which may not have been funnier, but it was clever. It was a little more subtle. Maybe I'm missing out on some of the new stuff...I'm told Family Guy and Futurama are hilarious. One day I'll rent them all at once and see for myself. Maybe I'll add them to my Netflix queue right now.

But I'm not here to talk about that...I'm here to talk about The Simpsons Movie. I went to see this by myself first of all...I haven't done that in a while, but Katharine was SO not interested. I sat down, not sure of what to expect. Should I expect the same old Simpsons I watched on TV seven years ago or would it be new? Would they have characters I didn't recognize? Would any of the characters have aged? Of course not. It was exactly the same. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy it...well, most of it. It was certainly large enough to be worthy of the big screen...at least after the first 30 minutes went by. I was worried when it started..."it was just a giant episode"..."why pay for something I can see at home for free in my living room?" And then they kicked off the plot of the movie about pollution and Spider Pig and Homer being a dolt and the Simpsons leaving Springfield. A little preachy, but with many funny bits.

Wait...here's where I think they went WRONG (and of course this is my opinion and mine alone). This was their big chance to start again fresh. Their chance to LEAVE the Simpsons somewhere else and begin with new characters, new plot lines, something new for the fans to look at. Something to start off the next season of the longest running primetime show on television in a setting you've never seen before. But maybe that's not what die hard Simpsons fans want. I think it would have been GREAT!

One reviewer said that the Simpsons Movie wasn't just a long episode...I think it kind of was, but as I said earlier, with the visuals they provided, it was a long episode worth taking the time to go see in theaters because seeing it on TV...on DVD...really makes it just another episode of the show.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007) - I Get Confused When People Refer to it as OOTP

Katharine and I just came from seeing the 5th Harry Potter book (well...it was actually a movie...we didn't see the book), at the IMAX theater near our house where the last 15 minutes of the movie is in 3D.

I haven't read any of the books aside from the first 50 pages of the first one; and I've never seen the first movie, but I have really enjoyed the 4 sequels so far. Each one seems to get better than the next (with this and the last being tied for best so far). I just know that come this Saturday, when the last of the books are released, that someone is going to f*ck me over and reveal what happens to Harry...there's no way I'll make it the next two years until "Deathly Hallows" comes out in theaters to find out Harry's fate. But this isn't about that. This is about OOTP.

See it on an IMAX screen if you can. The movie is great...Harry doesn't die (because there are two more books obviously and therefore two more movies unless the kids get too old too fast), and if you're like me, you won't notice all the missing subplots from the books. They're not important...I didn't miss them. I know what they are because people told me and they sound like a bunch of filler anyway.

3D scenes...did I mention those are awesome? Did I?

Transformers (2007) - More Than Meets the Eye...and My Expectations

I had no idea what to expect when we went to go see The Transformers last week...I never played with the toys and I've never seen the cartoon.

I played with Star Wars figures, Star Trek figures, Dukes of Hazzard figures, and Love Boat figures. Stop laughing...it's all true. Anyway...like I said through your laughter...I knew nothing about Transformers. For example; I didn't know Transformers talked. I didn't know there were good and bad Transformers. I didn't know Transformers were 30 feet tall. And finally, I don't recall any of the girls in my high school looking like Megan Fox's character...the leading female character of the movie playing opposite Shia LaBeouf.

Transformers was a great movie...Shia LaBeouf is showing up in movies everywhere, currently filming the 4th Indiana Jones movie and recently finishing the soon to be released on DVD Disturbia. I think he made the movie with a mix of action and humor. The only thing about the movie I didn't like was during the robot battle scenes...the robots were all jumbled together and you couldn't tell who was fighting who. That's not important though...everyone should go see this movie and bring the kids!

Live Free or Die Hard (2007) - Otherwise Known as Die Hard 4...and No, It Wasn't a Movie About New Hampshire

Bruce Willis is returns to the character that made him a movie star in this 4th installment of the Die Hard series. Hollywood is finally starting to learn how to make a good sequel...it started with Rocky Balboa...this time, Die Hard 4 proves to be a better movie than Die Hard 2 and Die Hard with a Vengeance and finds itself as my second favorite Die Hard movie!

The writers really put the character in a situation that fits the rest of the series as cyberterrorists hold America hostage...the task of stopping them falls to the man who couldn't use a fax machine (in Die Hard 2), didn't have a cell phone (in the original), and in this one, doesn't know anything about computers and the Internet. That's where Justin Long comes in (the Apple commerical Mac Guy)...who offsets the gruff character of McClane with his updated humor...the two of them compliment each other perfectly. And for those annoyed that the McClane family was left out of Die Hard 3...daughter Lucy McClane makes an appearance (or two...or three) and is perfectly acted by Mary Elizabeth Winstead as a combination of Bruce Willis' character and Bonnie Bedilia's Holly Gennaro from the first two films. Lastly...the appearance of Kevin Smith in a role that had to be written for him. Genius.

The only distraction in this film that made it difficult to remember that it was a Die Hard movie was the absence of Bruce Willis' hair. It sounds stupid, and I know...people will be saying that about pictures of me in a few years too...but otherwise, this was a fantastic sequel and every Die Hard fan should go see it.

Breaking News from WWE.COM - Only in Professional Wrestling (2007)

Most people laugh when you tell them that you watch WWE Wrestling. But only the WWE would kill of the chairman of the board for the sake of a publicity stunt. At least that's what I hope they're doing.

Spiderman 3 (2007) - Does Whatever a Spider Can

I haven't posted a good movie review since the Grindhouse, so I thought I'd jump back in with Spiderman 3 - The IMAX Experience. What did I think of Spiderman 3? Without giving away too many plot points...too many villians. The villians for Spidey 3 have been publicly announced, but maybe you haven't read anything...I'll talk more about them after the picture.

I haven't read a lot of the old Marvel Comics, so I never know the history of the Spider villians when I go to the movies. I've grown tired over the whiny Harry Osbourne..."you killed my daddy even though he's the Green Goblin"...let it go Harry. The Sandman...cool special effects along with great acting by Thomas Hayden Church. Venom...who doesn't like Venom? The only problem with casting Topher Grace in that role was that he's the only person that could replace Tobey McGuire for Spiderman 4.

Let's talk about the main characters. Why make Peter Parker a goofball at the time in the movie where he was supposed to be evil? Kirstin Dunst's Mary Jane was whiny this time around...time for her to go and be replaced by Gwen Stacy. Right...she doesn't want to be in Spiderman 4 either from what I've read. Aunt Mae...shut the hell up and let the plot move forward. I'm still trying to figure out where Uncle Ben hid the ring as he swam across the lake. Don't worry if you're confused...Aunt Mae will clear it up for you.

It sounds like I didn't like the movie, but it was really good. It's just that it could have been 2 movies the way they kept switching from story to story. The end was great though...even if I was tilting my head like a confused dog at one point. Just see it...you'll know.

Only at the GRINDHOUSE (2007) - If Rodriguez and Tarantino Appeared on Celebrity Deathmatch, Rodriguez Would Win

While others were spending quality time with family on Easter Sunday, I spent 3 1/2 hours at The Grindhouse, the new double feature movie experience by Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino.

Rodriguez's Planet Terror was fast paced and gory, yet comical at the same time with just enough campiness to make it really fun. Where else can you go and see Rose McGowan running around with a machine gun stump leg, blowing away the bad guys...and the sex scene...let's just say it's something you've never seen before. It's not what you think...you have to see it to know what I'm talking about.

Quentin's DeathProof was unfortunately not as good in my opinion. It was full of interesting characters and snappy dialogue...a little bit scary even for the fist 15 minutes. And then there was the middle hour, which introduced you to the annoying female "heroes" of the film...the heroes that you sort of hoped would be killed by the stunt driving maniac. You didn't care about them. I actually disliked them and found myself rooting for the wrong side during the last 15 minutes of the movie...where I won't tell you what happens...only that it would have been the only other exciting part of the movie...except, like I said, I didn't care. By then.

The aging of the film was a neat trick...the "accidental" cut scenes and missing reels placed strategically throughout both stories was perfect and helped move the stories along. The fake previews shown during intermission were creative...hurry to the bathroom during the Eli Roth trailer for Thanksgiving like I did. Go see The Grindhouse before The Weinstein Company decides to separate the two films which defeats the entire purpose of seeing the film. It's an experience the way it is.