Operation Gallbladder or How I Spent the End of My Summer Vacation

Well, it's been quite a week. An unexpected week. It all started on Wednesday around lunchtime...an innocent meal at Boston Market with some chicken, marshmallow sweet potato, a bit of mac and cheese. A normal day. That is...normal until I got a gut wrenching pain on the right side of my abdomen. I've had similar pain before, but this was much, much worse. It went away in about 20 minutes only to return several hours later resulting in pain so bad it brought tears and a trip to the ER around 7pm.

The ER is nothing like it is on "ER"...the main doctor in charge is not attractive and he has the shittiest bedside manner of any human being I've ever met. Following a revealing ultrasound, his idea of breaking the news was, "it's infected, the book says it comes out...it comes out. Tomorrow morning around 6am"...followed by him leaving the room with no discussion and no explaination. This was followed by an admitting nurse looking for a signature so I could stay overnight. When I asked for more information (to speak with the surgeon or someone who could talk to me about this without being a total asshole), I was greeted with the return of the same ER doc and his sarcasm of the situation as he pointed to Katharine, "What? I tell you what's happening. She doesn't believe me? The book says it comes out." I had told Katharine of his lack of bedside manner and in front of him, she agreed, "You're SO right". "Right about what?" he asked.

So, I was admitted around 1130pm and dragged off down the creepiest hospital hallway EVER..."UNDER CONSTRUCTION" warned all the signs around me. I could hear saws rumbling in the background (I'm not making this up...it was the construction). "I've seen this movie," I informed the orderly, "This never ends well". He chuckled as if he were planning my doom. He wasn't...the Observation room was at the end if the creepy hallway and its staff was thoughtful...the rooms were separated only by curtains...because everyone was under observation. It was around 1am.

The next morning arrived...it was about 7am on Thursday when Katharine and I were both awakened by the sounds of a bedpan being filled behind my neighbors curtain. I was informed that the surgeon would arrive in a couple of hours...a couple turned into four. Unlike the doctor from the previous evening...my surgeon had some tact and a kind way about him. He obviously had much more experience talking to human beings. He informed me that the idiot from the night earlier was wrong and there was no infection, but my gallbladder was FULL of stones. So full in fact, that they were passing through it and that was the pain I felt. Ouch. He gave me the choice of going home...and living with that unbearable pain...or having my diseased gallbladder removed. After some debate (it's true...I admit it...I wasn't going to do it out of fear of surgery) I choose B...have my gallbladder removed...the next day at 10am. Another overnight in the hospital. Katharine kept me company for the night and I tried to share the tiny hospital bed while hooked up to an IV for the 2nd night.

Surgery day was Friday and I had some worry in my head, but not as much as I thought I would...until they rolled me into the operating room. They promised that I wouldn't be awake during the surgery...because I saw that on Nip/Tuck once. They gave me some "happy juice" to drink, which tasted like sour vinegar mixed with sour apple juice...and then carbonated. It was nasty. They tortured me a little bit when they couldn't get the *first* IV in my hand. "Tortured" is not an exaggeration...she tried for almost 10 minutes...I still feel it today. And then they gave me some kind of pills, which I didn't try to identify for the first time in my life (another truth...not a big fan of medication). They shaved my stomach...if you've ever seen me at the beach...you know that's something. They rolled me into the room and asked me to scoot over to the operating table...at which time I can't remember anymore because of some amnesia stuff they put in my IV. Good. Who wants to remember?

I do remember waking up after surgery and asking for my gallbladder...the doctor's response is the same as yours. "What the hell do you want that for?" What about the stones? How many of them were there? "I didn't count them," he answered jokingly annoyed. Then he explained how people used to make necklaces out of stones...that was nasty. I stopped asking questions and went back to sleep...like I had a choice

I had several visitors before and after the ordeal...even though I fell asleep consistently during some of your visits...I am still very appreciative. Katharine stayed at the hospital most of the time...even though it was uncomfortable. I appreciate that publicly as well. I'm recovering quite nicely and there's much more to this story of course. I can't possibly tell the whole story here. Some of you probably didn't make it to the end out of boredom. Just thought I'd tell the story and link to a picture of the aftermath. WARNING: It's not pretty.

Click on the blurry to get a clear shot if you're not squemish.

Guest Movie Review with Spoilers Galore - Hot Fuzz (2007)

I've Been Watching is gone, but technically, even though I was watching, I'm not reviewing here. Today's guest reviewer is my father in law David, who sat with me and watched this movie one Sunday night and felt the need to talk about it in a public forum. How could I NOT post his comments?!

Guest Review – Hot Fuzz

Hot Fuzz is three genres of movie in one, and if it doesn’t always make the most of each, it manages to be more than entertaining in two of them.

It also provides a unifying theme – graphic violence. The theme is introduced early, as the hero, a British police officer, has been stabbed in the hand at the time he is introduced. The stabbing is shown in a brief flashback, and the violence will never again be that subdued.

In the first genre, we have the big city copy in the small town. He is gung ho regulation; they are laid back and untroubled. They are also ineffectual, unintelligent, unwilling to change and often quite nasty about it – and those are their good points. And so we expect a comedy in which we see which changes the other. For a truly heartwarming film, we could have both changing the other.

The transition into the second genre is clear enough, two slayings by a robed and hooded figure wielding what seems to be a scythe, quickly followed by decapitation. No blood is spared: a portent of things to come. And now we have a fairly standard, if notably gory, duel between a serial killer and the dogged cop.

Alas, the clearly guilty suspect has an unbreakable alibi (not unheard of in other films of the type), and the detective grows more and more depressed, particularly since everyone else seems convinced that these are all accidents. They assure the cop that he is losing it, and he seems inclined to agree. At this point, the film seems notably downbeat, not to say depressing, and certainly not much fun.

Don’t fear, though; the dogged cop remains dogged, and discovers the trick to the unbreakable alibi. We also find that this small town has a dark secret. (Yes, this is a wholly novel idea.) At this point, any semblance to verisimilitude is thrown gleefully overboard, and the violence dial is moved to eleven. (No, I’ve not seen Spinal Tap, at least not all of it, but I’m shameless.) Suffice it to say that Rambo should be taking notes.

Let it not be thought that the movie is wholly careless. A small ruse to save the detective’s life is prepared by what seemed like a pointless vignette earlier. But not too much care is taken. (If, for example, every death is officially an accident, why a hidden crypt filled with victims?)

And at the heartwarming end, the big city and the small town have indeed both changed the other. Aww.

I Can Take a Hint: Nobody Gives a Crap "What I've Been Watching"

It's possible that nobody gives a crap what "I've Been Thinking" either, but you're reading this and that's a start. See how on the right side of the comic this week, there's NOTHING there but a picture of me holding a sign? That's right, I've retired my "I've Been Watching" column because nobody comments and because quite frankly; I don't enjoy writing it. Obviously, this is all about me...I love watching movies, but I don't enjoy reviewing them...I'm going to try and think of something more interesting to put in that space. Something brand new. Something special. I don't want it to be "left blank" forever. If you have an idea of what would be fun to put there...leave a comment and let me know (and try to keep it clean...ish).

Ready? Go.

Our Plants and Flowers are Flourishing

Back in June, we started planting our vegetable garden and now it's August...our green beans have come and gone...our peppers should be popping up any minute now...and our tomatoes...should be popping up ANY minute now. Where are our tomatoes? The plant is HUGE, but no vegetable yet.

To be fair, we started this project a little late in the season...then we used Miracle Grow plant and vegetable soil...but didn't notice it wasn't POTTING soil. Don't do that...that non-potting soil has a different texture and your plants will not grow. Use potting soil...add drainage...and your plants will take off like this one did.

We've grown other things in our yard besides weeds this year...uhm...well...Katharine has grown other things. We have flowers this year which I don't think this house has ever seen. And next year we'll have flowering shrubs. That's right folks...we have a plan.

And speaking of plans....there's also still an ongoing patio project...I swear that this will be finished in time for some kind of BBQ in September...I'm going to use it at least once with actual people being able to sit on it (even if it's just the two of us and the animals sitting in lounge chairs...well...the animals won't be in chairs). As a matter of fact, I'm hoping it will be done in the next couple of weeks. You don't believe me but it's true. You'll see and then you'll feel bad for doubting me.

I Spent One Day on the Beach This Year and All I Got Was a Sunburn and a Bloody Foot

Once a year, I find myself out in the sun for a day at the beach. I'm not fond of the sun...I can't stay out for long periods of time without burning to a crisp and/or ending up with a headache...I must not have had enough water to drink as a child or maybe it was because the air conditioners were on all the time and I never learned how to deal with heat. No mom...this is not a criticism.

Anyway, this year I spent my day on the beach for my office outing and much fun was had by all, much good food was consumed, and as always injuries were sustained. Someone always seems to get hurt at this outing; we have it every year around the same time. We've seen pulled muscles, bruises, frisbees to the face, bee stings, and even once had a case of whiplash. All in the name of fun! This year it was my turn (actually, the first year I think I pulled a muscle playing frisbee). I won't tell you how it happened because there's much debate on that subject, but here is the damage...look away if you're squemish.

In case you can't tell...and I know you can't...that's the outside of my left foot. And here's my sunburn.

OUCH! And today's public service message...don't forget to RE-apply sunscreen.